The Neighbor from #@%&!!!!

For those of you who haven't figured out the title of my blog...the #@%& is a clever way of giving the illustion of cussing..without the vulgarity of actually swearing (which I find myself doing way to much as of late.) But let me just tell you about our crabby neighbor and you will understand why exactly my old swearing habit has kicked it into high gear lately. Let me just preface this little story by saying that Dustin and I are extremely boring...i mean really really painfully boring, especially lately..this has something to do with the fact that we really and truely have no friends...but that's a whole nother' can of beans. Okay, so we are really boring we never go anywhere or do anything to terribly exciting. So of course we were extremely surprised when we got a note on the front of our apartment door a few weeks ago complaining that we were too loud, some rubbish about how we were walking around too much, slamming doors etc. etc. etc. We were kind of peeved (sorry about all the wierd british words..I am reading harry potter..peeved and rubbish really are great words and I have decided to use them more often.) but we decided to just try our best not to walk around our apartment and open kitchen cabinets and so on. So we are going about our lives, we had almost forgotten the whole thing...when another note gets stuck to our front door...same old same old...it went something like this " It has come to our attention that you are disturbing your neighbors.....loud walking/stomping, slamming doors, banging pots etc..is not aloud and is direct violation of your lease agreement...blah blah blah blah. Well let's just say we were both totally ticked off. We go to bed AT THE LATEST 10:00 p.m...for a while there i was calling it a night at 8:30..something i haven't done since i was six. We get up early and we both work full time, so when are we supposed to be noisy????? We went and talked to the leasing office and asked them for suggestions on how we could be any more quiet. We don't play loud music, we don't have rave's or anything in our upstairs apartment...She suggested we not let our dog Toby run around the house. I am thinking... I am going to have to tiptoe around this place for a year and I am going to have to cover Toby's feet in bubble wrap. Well time went on..but today I was outside going for a walk when I saw the neighbor from %$##..it's a really old lady.I had a fantasy of walking up to her and saying "excuse me old one...it has come to my attention that you have been complaining about all the NOISE ( I would scream that bit in her face),I would finish up by saying, "You can kiss my...!!! of course I didn't say any of that... I just smiled and said "hello." She ignored me and practically ran back into her apartment. So we have an old crabby hermit living below us. Dustin and I have decided that if we are going to get reported for being to noisy we are going to throw a really awesomely loud and totally amazing party...only problem is.. we've got no friends..so if any of you want to come and help us stick it to the oldie,you are all welcome.